There’s been moments lately where I’ve felt lost, like an astronaut who’s plug has been disconnected from it’s base, floating aimlessly through space.
Floating between the death of the old ways, and previous identities,
and the birth of what’s True.
The birth of what’s calling us forward.
There’s currently an internal fire blazing within.
An emotional purge of dragons that we haven’t yet dealt with, to be faced in preparation for new frequencies to further activate our gifts and essence.
And yet, when I feel what’s underneath it,
for me personally, and I’m sure collectively as well…
There’s also a feeling of resistance.
An inner fight, perhaps.
Feeling STUCK.
It feels like the mother who’s labor is stalled…
The mother who mid birth, is caught in internal fear pattern and programming,
and thus holding the baby in the birth canal.
holding it back from being born with trust and grace.
Why am I experiencing so much grittiness and gnarliness and suffering in this void? I’ve been asking myself.
You’ve been denying what is inside of you.
You haven’t been allowing what’s here to be birthed.
So much has died.
So much light is descending.
And yet, there are places we are not allowing it to move through our bodies and be birthed into our reality.
When this knowing first came in, it pissed me off. What in the actual f*ck are you talking about! Have you not seen us over here, tending to all of these pieces of our lives? Haven’t you noticed that we are doing the work? That we are committed practitioners, busy dismantling all of these parts of our lives that are no longer true? (cough cough, ego).
Some of you know that since returning home from a life-changing experience at ETERNITY in Phoenix with my teacher and spiritual community, I’ve been shown all of these things in my life that are off and out of alignment. These things have been calling for my immediate attention, asking to be tended to rn.
I’ve also had deep revelations.
New frequencies come in.
Ways that Source wants to live through me, asking me to serve certain energies in the world.
But I’ve been focusing on the undoing.
Pouring all of my attention on the pieces of my life that are requiring adjustment.
It has been A LOT to hold and tend to maturely. (there have been some temper tantrums).
And even though the adjustments I’ve been making truly are an initiation in themselves, that have required a lot of bravery and courage and self-backing…
I’ve been neglecting the creation.
The allowing.
I’ve been neglecting the birth of the deeper thing inside of me that has grown so big and loud and is ready to be born…
Why is this? Do you resonate with this?
I wonder if it’s because there’s a small part that’s afraid to surrender to the birth.
Afraid of what will happen if I allow the light to fully come into my body, allow everyone to see me in that birth, to see me in that full embodied power.
To see how BIG we are.
There’s a part that believes we’re safer and easier to keep that all tucked away.
I am not saying this with judgement, nor making it wrong,
But my body has been showing me that the undoing and dismantling are meant to be simultaneously happening, while we allow ourselves and our creations to be seeded, to be remembered and brought into the light.
It’s a both/and practice.
So while we can focusin on “adjusting the birth space,”
aka oh wait I want candles not lights. actually it’s not true for that person to be in here. oh actually i’m meant to birth in the water. nope I don’t want to have that drug, etc…
In doing that, we’ve taken our attention off the baby.
But it’s like, who gives a f*ck about the birthing room if they baby is stuck?
There is a newborn coming.
Send me a reply if you’re ready to learn what it takes to hold your own birth.